BRAIN AGE & POOL

June 30, 2006 Ben has graduated out of Physical Therapy and we are on to Cardiac Rehab where he’ll get to work out on a treadmill and weight machines so that’s good news. His speech therapist just turned him on to this new Nintendo game called Brain Age- it’s amazing- lots of math questions and interactive writing and talking into the machine- he actually spent 5 hours last night in intense concentration doing math problems and I swear I can actually watch his brain improving as he does the exercises. An MD developed the game and it’s supposed to help ANYONE get sharper and more articulate etc. His speech therapist learned about it from one of her patients who had a head injury. My brain could use a little exercise right now, but the trick will be getting the Nintendo away from Ben and he’s not willing to give it up!
Yesterday George took Ben to play POOL! Ben was elated- so was I! It's the first time I've been all alone at the house in a couple of months- what a treat! Thanks George!

3 months and a day

June 23, 2006- Hard to believe it’s been three months since Ben’s heart stopped. In some ways it feels like a lifetime. The good news is Ben passed his stress test last week with flying colors which means we can wait till his head is better before they have to do the by-pass. I am relieved although I know we’ll have to face it in a couple of years or sooner. We are sending back the wheelchair and the walker- yippee! Now he will be able to start on the treadmill at physical therapy and soon he’ll be able to work out with me at he at the Y. We are going to yoga there a couple of times a week- sometimes it’s more challenging than others- mainly it’s a test of my maturity and I have to constantly contain myself from getting the giggles when I watch Ben try to attempt some of the moves. At physical therapy last week they gave him the balance test- the highest score is 56 and he scored 54, which is pretty impressive. The memory/attention part is coming much slower- he is still often confused. Like we went to Bill and Nancy’s for dinner earlier this week and he kept thinking he was still in the Army and he was concerned about going over to Iraq. We don’t have cable for the TV, which is a good thing- his head doesn’t need to be filled with scary images of war etc.
I can’t believe what a difference our COPES worker has made- just getting those couple of hours reprieve 5 times a week has made such a huge difference. It gets taxing to get asked the same questions over and over and over. It’s harder than dealing with a little kid because a little kid is much easier to distract. Ben is starting to get more frustrated with himself- which his therapists say is a sign that he’s getting more cognitively aware, but its hard when he puts himself down. I have to constantly help him reframe what he says about himself and put a positive spin on it.
It’s funny because Ben is now aware of all the unfinished projects around here- some of them have been unfinished for more than 20 years! He’s continually fussing about this or that, wondering why things like our light in the bathroom isn’t fixed. He wants to do stuff, and I have him working on smaller projects like today he just trimmed back a bush in our back yard. Yesterday he went on a vacuuming spree which I LOVE! He’s doing chores like taking out the garbage and putting away dishes- all helping to get his memory back. It’s a bit upsetting when members of the medical profession tell him he’ll never be the same- his therapist made him cry yesterday. I keep telling him he’s going to get back- maybe even better than he was before- but it’s going to take time and lots of hard work. That’s what he’s doing right now- working on his homework. That’s all for now. Love, B
PS I forgot to post the one below.

June 14, 2006- When I woke up this morning feeling sick, Ben said he would summon one of our doctors. When I told him this was 2006 and doctors don’t make house calls he said, “Oh no, we’ve got a whole team of doctors on call 24 hours a day.” I asked him if they were my doctors or his doctors, he assured me that they were my doctors, after all I was the one who was sick, he wasn’t, never has been and never will be. When I said I was going to run down stairs for something to drink, Ben said, “Oh no, I’ll just push the button over there.” He pointed to the dimmer switch in our bedroom. “Someone will bring it.” I asked, “Who?” “One of our servants of course.” Of course, how silly of me. Later on this morning after we were talking about our friend Charlie Williams running for judge, Ben was convinced that he was running for County Commissioner. When I told him that his brother Mark was the one who was running for County Commissioner, Ben said he didn’t want to run against his brother. I told him Mark was running in Lewis County, not Thurston. Ben was relieved. He said, “Just about everyone in our family has been in politics.” Besides his uncle Hank who was County Commissioner here for 28 years and Ben’s cousin John who was County Commissioner in Mason County, I don’t know of any others.

How to Blog

For people interested in setting up something similar to this blog it is amazingly easy and free. Blogs can be useful for family reunions and group projects as well as a way to share thoughts, information and photos. Artists, photographers and authors use them alot, not to mention all the causes and political rantings out there.

Good places to start are Blogger and WordPress. Either one offers a free blog with various templates to choose from. Blogger is probably a little easier since it also works with Picasa, a free photo management tool also owned by Google. if you put your photos in Picasa, all you need to do is select one and click on the Blogger button at the bottom to connect with your Blogger site and post. Barbara finds this irresistible.

Blogger has lots of help on its website and a relatively inexpensive ($10.39) and easy to understand book, Publishing A Blog with Blogger by Elizabeth Castro that can tell you all need to know about starting up a blog and customizing it.

Blogs can be open to the public as this one is, or private to be used by a group of people who are invited to join the blog. Blogs in either Blogger or WordPress can be set up to have only one author with everyone else only able to comment, or a group of authors, any of whom can start a posting. You can also change themes any time you get tired of the old one.

I started a blog, Eggsfried to share recipes, etc. for the next version of the family cookbook. As I got into this more, I moved it to a WordPress setup since it offers categories, very useful for a mostly recipe blog. There are perhaps a 1,000 different themes for WordPress, something for every taste. This is hosted on my own website where I also have put up lots of photos in galleries (annbarryphotos.com) I also started a photo blog where I can put up just one photo at a time. All of this stuff is great fun and highly addictive.

For WordPress, a new book, Quick Start WordPress 2 by Maria Langer and Miraz Jordan gives step by step instructions.

Ben at Shelley's B-day party

 

Our daughter-in- law Dawn at Fishy Business

 

Visiting Tom's shop, Fishy Business

 

Walking with Ben and Bones

 

Down by the riverside

 

Lisa & her nephew

Congratuations Lisa! The college graduate with her proud nephew! 

Kay & Ben

Kay and Ben chatting it up 

Ben & Larry

Visiting at Lisa's graduation party 

Brenda & Ben

Brenda showed us pictures and told us about her amazing trip to Mainland China 

Ditty

We visited Faye And Ditty's house 

Jim & Betty

Telling us about their exciting trip to Italy! 

Cappy and Ben

 

Pool playing buddies

June 13, 2006 Tonight when Frank told Ben he was taking him out to play pool, I wish I had taken a picture so I could have captured the expression of absolute joy on Ben's face! Ben was so so so so happy when they got home- he had an absolute ball! They had a wild time drinking O'Doul's and Pepsi. Frank is such an angel! Ben says thanks for the fun evening and taking the time to play pool with him, and for not beating him in every game! It was Ben's first time since his heart attack. 

Bouncing Ben

June 12, 2006 Last night about 7 pm Ben went on a cleaning kick starting with our pond/fountain out back. Then he came inside and Ajaxed the kitchen sink and cleaned up the counters, then upstairs where he cleaned the bathtub. Man oh man, I was hoping this cleaning kick would last but oh well, all good things come to an end. The cleaning kick sure beats the saving everything kick where he wanted me to save the dusty dregs from cleaning his electric shaver and the pulp from making orange juice etc.
This morning he had to fast before he went for his stress test. Do you know how hard it is to keep a hungry and thirsty guy with short-term memory loss from eating or drinking anything?
Plus he woke up convinced he had made dozens of James Bond movies- not as James Bond but as his stunt driver. To make matters worse he discovered my secret hiding place for the car keys, leading to a heated debate again about who was driving. And of course Ben had to find the right sunglasses suitable for a racecar driver of his stature. When he saw our 1984 Supra badly in need of a paint job, he was sorely disappointed. All the way over to the doctors Ben kept pointing out the brand new Corvettes and Porsches that we should buy, being as James Bond stunt car drivers make a ton of money.
We finally made it to the doctor’s office, a bit late. When Ben saw the receptionist he cried out, “ God you look anemic!” causing either guffaws or giggles from the folks in the waiting room. Times like that I wonder, do I explain? I didn’t. But when the nurse called him back to the test, without me, I was quite concerned being as Ben’s answers to medical questions vary greatly from my answers. Luckily Ben’s doctor’s nurse Karla saw me waiting alone, knew what was up and shortly thereafter I was summoned back by the nurse.
They gave him a drug to speed up his heart for 4 minutes and then gave him the antidote. Then we had to go and eat a high fat meal. I ordered Ben a roast beef sandwich on a croissant with chips and cream in his coffee. The two girls behind the counter were what Ben’s son Tom would call ‘hot’. When they asked if there was anything else we wanted Ben said, “I’ll take a body to go.” They gave him puzzled looks. Ben ate his sandwich like he’d just gotten off an island in Survivor. Then we had to go back and finish his test. His doctor was amazed after two weeks the progress that Ben was making- he said there was no medical or scientific reason for his recovery other than a miracle. When I said that Ben had good doctors, his doctor said, “No, it’s a miracle. Clearly Ben is an amazing guy.” But I already knew that.
On the way home we stopped at an all-girl barber shop since Ben’s been wanting his hair all shaved off again and it’s too long for me to give him the first cut. When the lady barber asked him what he wanted he said, “I’ve got brain damage. I want you to shape me a new head.” This time I did explain. Another day in the life of what my brother-in-law Dave calls Bouncing Ben.

Learning to fly

June 8, 2006 Now that Ben is getting so much better, this morning he didn’t think he needed any more therapy. We had quite a lengthy discussion about it and for sure, Ben is still just as stubborn as he was before his heart attack. Finally I had to remind him I had to show him where the bathroom was, so maybe he wasn’t quite finished with his therapy yet. When we got out to the car, he insisted on driving- another test of the wills, but I won and I got him to therapy on time.
Today was his second outpatient therapy session of all three in a row. He started with Physical therapy but his PT didn’t know how hard she could push him- he goes in for his heart stress test next Monday and Friday so we’ll have a better idea of how far he can go, The Occupational and speech therapists want Ben to use his new day-timer as his memory organizer. Right now I am his memory organizer. The OT had him make a ‘What’s Next List.’ That’s the question Ben asks me over and over every day- he has so much energy, as soon as we finish one activity he asks, ‘What’s next?’ And he expects me to figure out what we should do next. Now, theoretically, he’ll be able to look at his list in his day-timer and be able to choose which thing he wants to do next.
When the OT asked him for some ideas of what he could put on his ‘What’s Next List’, Ben answered that he wanted to learn how to fly an airplane. The OT had to explain to him that that might be a bit daunting right now. Ben argued with her. Finally she had to explain that he was still remembering how to do tasks like make the coffee and brush his teeth, so he acquiesced. The other things he wanted to do was play golf- she said he could try going to the driving range. And he wanted to go fishing. Oh, and of course go play pool. (Anyone wanna take him for an outing?) Reluctantly he added things like taking a walk, playing games, cleaning out the car, helping with dinner etc. Later our COPES worker and I helped Ben get his appointments for June all mapped out and so far he seems interested in his schedule. I’m excited to see how this works- he just wants to go,go,go. But he does get tired and need to rest and so do I!

Sunday update

Sunday June 4, 2006 afternoon- The big news is we slept all night till 6 this morning- absolute heaven! Ben is doing fantastic- especially since decreasing his anti-seizure medication since just Friday - I am excited to see how it goes next week when we can decrease even more.
Being able to see the digital pictures we take of what happened during the day has been extremely helpful for his short term memory- thanks Ann.
Our friend Glen just got both computers up and rolling-it only took 3 hours!- it was one of thos Qick Connect deals- right- thanks so much Glen- now Ben can get on-line on his old computer- hopefully we will remember his yahoo password soon so he can get his emails! It's been over 2 months- bet his mailbox is full.
Things are really going well- our COPES worker is a dream- thanks Medicare! Right now I love our goverment and Western medicine. Thanks so much to everyone- it's hard to thank everyone because so many have really helped us out so much- especially my sister Jane who has been here in 2 hours, driving all the way from Burlington, she's spent many nights with me and her own experience of losing her husband John to brain cancer has made her invaluable to my own situation. We couldn't have made it without you!
Love, B&B

I love this picture

Ben and his sister Gay- she's an awesome sister! Love you Gay! 

Bones & Steve

Ben's little brother Steve having a heart to heart with Bones. Thanks for coming! 

Ben surrounded with love

Ben's little sister Beth and big sister Gay with Ben's mother on the end. Mother Bolender is amazing- 93 and she's been down to see Ben at the nursing home, at the hospital and now just to visit. Ben couldn't get enough love and support from his family. We love you guys! 

Nancy & Edwin

Ben's oldest sister and her husband Edwin visited on Sunday- Nancy is a nurse so she has been a tremendous help and she's been there for her brother. 

Tom & Dawn

Ben's son Tom and his new beautiful bride Dawn have been a tremendous help- we couldn't have done it with out them! Ben's lucky to have such great kids. In this picture they are looking at photos of all the people who have come to visit and of old family pictures. We took a long walk over to the Capitol Plaza- Ben did great but got a bit wobbly on the way back- his strenght is good- it's just building up his stamina. 

Sherry helping Ben

Sherry worked with Ben on his memory book and took him for a nice walk up the street. Sherry and her husband George have helped us so much ever since this hapened- thanks! 

Shelley & Bones

Shelley has walked Bones every day for the last couple of months- sometimes when they come back, Bones doesn't want to come back in the house- he wants to go home with Shelley. Thanks Shelley for all you are doing! 

Dear friends

Ben's always happy to see Nancy- Bill and Nancy were in the ER with us the night it happened- they canceled their trip to Hawaii the next day. Thank you for always being there for us! 

New Routine

June 1, 2006 Friday afternoon- Things are shifting so fast around here it's hard to keep up on all the changes. After we moved our sleeping mat into Ben's office a couple of Sundays ago the Physical Therpist told us we could move back upstairs last friday- what a difference it makes sleeping in our own bed. Yippee!
Our COPES worker started last week- she's a family friend and an absolute dear - Ben and I are both thrilled. So already my life is changing. I've been getting to the Y and the big thing is I am able to start finishing up my novel which isn't that far from being done. I can't tell you what a difference those two things have made for my attitude.
Ben's amazing- he's so funny- I have to keep an eye on him but not nearly so much- today he was outside standing in the rain, peeing on the flowers- yesterday he was putting orange peals down the toilet- things like that. He's so cute and innocent- and so eager, most of the time, to learn.
He's doing so well he's graduating out of in-home care and we will start out-patient therapy at St Pete's next week. Can't wait- it will be more intense. The Physical Therpaist said he'll need that therapy the least. The Occupational Therapy will take over where the Speach Therapy leaves off. That also means we'll be able to get out more- when we had all the services in-house we were under doctor's orders to stay at home for most everything except doctor's appointments. Now we can get out and do stuff which will be good for all of us. No need for his walker or his wheelchair!
Ben's memory comes and goes. Sometimes it's like he's back to normal and then he'll throw in something about his being retired military and us owning a farm and the elevator that he's building in the garage.
Everyone says this must be when the less stressful part starts- in some ways it's true, in others it's not- the daily grind of living with a loved one who needs help 24/7 and who has little short term memory is challenging to say the least at times. At times it's sweet, funny and like watching a miracle. I try to keep a sense of humor and to not get too far out there in the future. But things keep changing- this morning Ben said he had no memory, after his nap he said he felt like he was back to his old self. Now he's down on himself for having no memory again.
He loves playing checkers and other games and is looking forward to playing pool soon.
The next big thing is his stress test for his heart- there's a possibilty that if his stress test isn't good that they will do the bypass sooner than later- we'll find out in a couple of weeks.
Thanks everyone- especially those that took the time to read my acount of what happened to Ben. We appreciate your support so much. Love B& B